The Aftermath

www.michaelsamuels.com

It's been two months since I had my D&C. Sometimes, I think about our would-be twin babies. I think about what I did wrong. Were we not that careful in our activities and actions? Should I have gone to a specialist instead of a regular OB GYN? Should I have undergone a complete bed rest during the pregnancy? Too many questions and wishful thinking.

Sometimes I still cry whenever I think about what happened to me and our babies. I tell myself that I should move on and think about what I can do to help my body and mind heal.


To help in the healing process, I've cut down activities which entails physical exertion such as daily walks with my dog, weekly aerobics, and commuting. I can't carry or push heavy objects. I should take care to prevent "binat" (relapse) since it's nastier. A friend told me that she knew someone who went a little crazy because of it.

My life is now centered around the house and my freelance work. I'm thankful that I work from home since I don't know what company would be lenient as to allow an employee to take too much vacation and sick leave.

Many elders in my neighborhood advised me to limit my computer and TV time since these activities strain the eyes which is bad for my health. I take daily naps during lunch time to rest my eyes.

They say a D&C is more risky than giving birth. And I guess I know why. After the emotional trauma and physical ordeal I went through, and without any baby to show for after it, a D&C just seems a useless exercise.  

I know the time will come that my body will completely heal, as well as my spirit.