At Your Lowest is Where You are Blessed

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I heard mass with Inay last Sunday in our humble chapel. I wasn't able to do so in a couple of weeks because of tardiness (yeah, so baaad). I was so glad I came to church that Sunday.


Our priest gave his homily about the gospel of Luke 11:1-13. He said, when we are at our lowest points, that's when we receive the most blessings. He told a story when he was a high school student. Their class at the seminary took the NCEE and they were 24 students in all. 23 of them got grades of 90% and higher and 1 got 63%. Obviously it was embarrassing for that 1 classmate, I'll name him John, to get a failing grade among all of them. The priest admitted that John was not very good in school. John was not endorsed to go to college because he failed the NCEE. The class wondered what would happen to John since he would not be able to pursue his education.

Years passed, our priest was assigned in a rural community and as he was driving, his car broke down. He was directed to a local car repair shop where most priests have their vehicles fixed. He went to the car shop and alas, John was there. John owned the car shop. He may have failed in English, Math, Science, and all the other academic subjects but he was an expert in mechanical stuff. Not passing a crucial examination led him to explore other aspects where he can excel. 

When we are at our lowest is where we get the most blessings... 

I thought about it and I recalled that it is definitely true and I have experienced it. Years ago, I was at my lowest point in life. I had a job which I hate but spent very long hours, my supervisors doubt my competency of holding the position, I didn't go to church (ever), and I rarely went home to the province to visit my parents. I was so busy at work that I get surprised when pay day comes; not having spent the previous pay, yet. That was how busy I was at that time! And for a job that I hate. After crying tons of tears for so many reasons, but mainly for being so sad all the time, I had a change of heart. I decided that that destructive lifestyle must change. I didn't know where to start. I went to a church near where I lived and attended mass. I cannot remember the homily at that time but I do remember crying during mass. I was ashamed of myself for only remembering Him when I was at my lowest.

A few months after that enlightening experience, I resigned from work. I had some savings and no job to go to. I rested and went back to the province to "build" myself again. I was then accepted to a company where the working environment was great. And at that time, I met my future husband. (Awww!)

As I was intently listening to the priest, I can relate on what he said that there are times when we question Him why we don't get our prayers answered. I've been praying for years to have a baby of our own but it's not yet happening. Sometimes, I doubt if Hubby and I'll be able to get our own family. Not everything is rosy in our TTC journey. The homily renewed my faith that things will come in due time. In God's perfect time. Not in ours, not when it's convenient to us, but in God's.

Everyone of us have experienced low points in life, some may even be experiencing it right now. But, as they say, there is a light at the end of the tunnel.

A Nice Fertility Article

I was browsing through daily tweets when I saw Mind Body Green's tweet about natural fertility. I read the article "Why I'm Choosing To Treat My Fertility Problems Naturally" and I'm so happy the author's experience and decision resonate mine. 

Before I was diagnosed with PCOS, I rarely take medicines. I believed that if I'm sick, my body was telling me that something was wrong and I have to take a rest and be mindful of what I intake. Taking drugs was my last resort. But after the diagnosis, I had no choice but to follow the doctors' prescriptions of fertility drugs and more to ensure that my body is doing what it's supposed to do. At times, I don't like it since I feel that the drugs were not fixing the problem in a holistic way. And the risk of having ovarian cancer because of the drugs looms in my mind every now and then. Read our TTC journey here.

The author is brave in telling the world of her decision which is uncommon in the TTC world. I do similar things she's doing to help nurture the body and be ready for conception. I eat healthy, use organic products, have no vice, and I try to become active. I have yet to become a vegetarian, though I think it would become unlikely since I love eating meat products.

Sophie's Choice

After many, many weeks, I was finally able to finish reading Sophie's Choice. At first, I was intrigued with the novel's title and luckily, I saw a copy (second-hand, of course) for P25 only. I was wondering what was Sophie's choice. Another thing that made me curious was why the book was banned for sometime in many US libraries.

The novels has 16 chapters and the book I got has 626 pages (!). It was a bit too wordy for my taste with lots of minute descriptions of people, outfits, and environments. At the latter chapters, I skipped paragraphs to get into the dialogue parts.

The novel is about Sophie, a Polish immigrant who survived the Nazi concentration camps. There are flashbacks on what happened to her during those years, the multiple tragedies that she endured, and finally, the heart-wrenching decision that she had to make.

Halfway through the book, I was wondering why this "choice" hasn't appeared yet, or anything that suggests about it. It reminded me of Leo Tolstoy's "Anna Karenina" wherein the protagonist wasn't even mentioned until a few chapters into the book. I can't say what the Sophie's choice was since I don't want spoil it for those who would want to read the book.

In the future, I may read again Sophie's Choice to see details which I have missed and to understand it more. It's a lengthy read, I tell you, but worth it. It's a novel that makes you think, lets you learn about that horrible part of human history, and makes you hope that that war never happens again to your country, or to any other country.

Another Second-hand Book Haul

Since working from home, going out is now limited, and I don't mind. I only go out when paying bills and banking errands and during this day, I try to get the most out of my so-called "day-off." I list all my errands so I can do them in one go. After paying the bills and stuff, I go to the mall and second-hand book shops. I still have lots of unread books but I can't help buying low-priced good books whenever I'm in the book shop. I have more second-hand books than brand new ones and these new ones were mostly given to me as gifts.

I discovered another Booksale branch and that's where I went for my book shopping trip. The books were priced way lower than the mall branch and the titles were kinda older than those at the mall. I was able to snag these wonderful books for a total of P70.

I don't mind if a book is not in pristine condition, as long as the content is readable, it's alright with me.

SSS Loan Predicament

Last 2011, I got my second salary loan from SSS, I was employed at that time. The loan was payable in two years. After a year, I resigned from the company so it was now my responsibility to pay for my loan at SSS. 

After a several months of paying my loan, I decided to get a statement of account. I wanted to make sure that all my loan payments (from my previous employer and mine) were properly credited to my record. I tried using the SSS website but it only showed the loan status, not the loan payments. After two hours of waiting in an SSS branch, my number was called and I was able to get a printout of my statement of account.

Notice the "Post Date" and the "SBR/TR Date" columns. From the statement, it seemed like SSS was only able to credit my loan payments in 2011 and 2012 last January 2013! Another thing I learned, I have "Past Dues." I was a diligent payer, paying my loan monthly since I left the company, so why did I have unpaid dues? I learned that there were two payments during my employment which were not credited (yet?). The SSS employee said it should've been credited by this time since all of the latest payments I did were already credited. He advised me to ask my previous employer the photocopies of the loan payment forms and bring them to the SSS Main Office in Quezon City for verification and update. Such a hassle!

Instead of going back to the city to fix this, I decided to just pay my past dues to avoid future penalty fees. It sucks, but the time, effort, money, and sanity that I would spend are not worth it for fixing this. Some of you may disagree, but this is me. I informed my friends and colleagues about this so they could check their SSS records while they're still employed and update their records if necessary.

Once I finish paying my loan, I'll get another statement of account to make sure that I'm fully paid and avoid problems in the future. Thirty years from now, I don't want to have problems in getting my pension because of an "unpaid" loan.

(Update: I checked the SSS website and the Statement of Account for loans can be accessed there.)

Peacock Cross stitch

As a Christmas gift, I asked Hubby to buy me the materials of a peacock cross stitch pattern I had. I was into peacocks and luckily, I was able to buy a pattern entitled "Peacock's Courtship" at the mall. The pattern was big, measuring 15" x 21.9" (210 x 307 stitches). We went to Quiapo and bought the threads, needles, and Aida fabric.

I thought I would be able to finish this project before Hubby arrives. I timed myself and realized that I could only do 100 stitches in 1 hour because of the complexity of the pattern and multiple colors needed. Half a year after we bought the materials, I was only able to do about 1/8 of the project. Waah!

Here's the progress of this project.

After 30 hours

After 50 hours

I planned to display this project in our future house. Guess our house would be finished before I'd be able to finish this one.

No Excuses

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It's July 1st, the first day when I must start on my Fertility Plan. Maybe it sounds absurd to have such a plan but I'm a worrier type of person and unless I have a plan which I can follow, it's hard for me to remain calm. My mind races on things to do, things to avoid, etc. I'm planning for things which I have control over -- such as diet and exercise. This plan may work (hopefully!) this time.

Now is the time to get serious. I've given myself several months binging on junk food and preserved goods, staying up and waking up late, and being sedentary. I told myself July 1 is the day when these unhealthy habits have to end. It's now time to get moving, keep fit and healthy, stay sane in preparing myself for conception. No more excuses. No more bargaining.

For women with PCOS, doing exercise such as walking for 30 minutes a day is ideal in preparing the body for conception. I planned on waking up early and start on my morning walk today. I envisioned myself having walking as a daily exercise wherein I cannot begin the day without walking first. I wanted it to become a daily habit. But, I wasn't able to get out of bed on my target waking time today. Boo. Not to start the first day of my Plan with an epic fail, I turned on the TV and watched an exercise program. I followed the woman's cardio exercises for 30 minutes before preparing for work. Yes!

The day has not yet ended and I was able to do 6 out of the 10 items in my Plan. I hope I can have the determination and discipline to keep this up.